Resolution: More or Less

I just spent about an hour re-reading all my blog posts from 2011. It was an interesting year starting off with the ECU Symposium and progressing to my Thesis exhibition and graduation. Next came a summer of travel (to Arrowmont in June and July and Peter's Valley in August) and meeting more amazing people than I can count. Then, the utter bewilderment of winding up right back where I started, endless paperwork and nothing happening in the studio except some production pieces and a whole lot of bad enameling. Interspersed in all this were a few small disasters (the study abroad office screwing up my financial aid, Overnight Prints screwing up my show postcards, the Post Office screwing up nearly everything, the Grad and Registrar Office screwing up my paperwork and not posting my degree, the debate over my show in Phoenix, etc.) and A LOT of time in the car.

All this looking back has made me come to a startling and unsettling realization: I was a better person 6 months ago. I was a stronger, more fearless, more giving, grateful and centered person at the start of 2011 than at the end. The art was certainly better, and I'm wondering "What the hell happened?"

I'm not the type for New Years Resolutions, preferring to make dozens of smaller resolutions hundreds of times throughout the year, which I keep anywhere from 30 seconds up to a month or so. I've come to the understanding that one can make a change in one's life whenever one is ready and any day can be the start of the next new year.

I know the changes I want to make, they're always the same: more making, more making things happen, less stress, less worry, less anxiety. More beach, more love, more time with friends, less jealousy, more breathing. More cooking and baking and sewing and time outside. Less wanting and spending and time wasting. More giving and forgiving. Less existential despair, and more being "ok".

But it's hard to feel motivated safely ensconced on my parents couch, following the too full days of the holiday season. But I'll be back down south in a week or so, and for me the feeling of a chance to start over is typically tied to going, or even going back to a place. I'm teaching a class at a community college this spring, and I'm hoping the two day a week obligation will anchor me somewhat in my unfocused adrift of a life. You know, the chance to be more than just a walking talking cat bed.

So Happy New Year, today and everyday. Cheers.

Still Standing

Well here we are, another semester, my 9th and final one of graduate school has begun. I spent Christmas with my family, New Year's on the beach and the the past week sitting in my apartment, nursing a physical and spiritual exhaustion, spending time with my unruly children (aka: the thesis work) and bracing myself for the weeks ahead. I read an actual novel and watched some bad movies. I made cookies. I took a hiatus from blogging because my computer crapped out on me right before I went home and I haven't made the effort to go and get it fixed yet. And I was trying to stay away from school for as long as I could.

I started a piece titled Pilgrimage while I was home, and made quit a bit of progress on it over the past few days. I'm hoping to have it all wrapped up by the end of the week. The ECU Symposium is this weekend, and I've been setting up work and dealing with the exhibitions. I'm stressed out and I'm not even that involved this year. I feel a little guilty for not being more available, but my peers seem to have everything under control.

I wish I had some profound words of wisdom, some wonderful new outlook on the new year, some amazing thing to say that would let you, my readers, forgive me for falling off the face of the earth for a few weeks. But really, things feel the same, this semester feels the same. Deja vu all over again. I get up in the morning, do what I need to do and try to put all my focus on the work, and wait for the next disaster to strike.

But maybe this is just my low blood sugar talking. . .

Looking Back. . .

Well it's that time of the year, the end of the old and the start of the new, where we pause and reflect. The tail end of 2008, and beginning of 2009 brought a lot of changes for me. At this time last year I was packing up my apartment in Maryland. I thought I would pause and reflect on what else happened this past year.

In 2009 I:

- moved to North Carolina
- started a different grad school
- made a TON of work (some of it good)
- got in some serious beach time
- went camping for the first time ever (also on the beach)
- did some great fossil hunting
- taught a college level course for the first time
- TA'ed a metals course for the first time
- was in a few shows
- participated in Art House's Sketchbook Project 3 and Sketchbook Library
- made some nice $$$ at the Holiday sale
- made a little bit of $$$ on etsy, including one big commission
- bought a sewing machine, and made some simple things
- became a North Carolina state resident
- was on a plane for the first time in 8 years
- met a ton of great people and made many new and close friends

This next year brings an ECU hosted Symposium right off the bat (read more about it here), trips to Houston (for SNAG) and to Italy, and (fingers crossed) Pendland, and teaching metals for the first time. This year will also likly bring my thesis and my inevitable graduation. I hope to continue sewing, baking and cooking, fossil hunting in a few new local locations and exploring the great state of North Carolina. But my sincerest wish for this new year is to be able to give at least as much help as I receive.

Wishing you all the best in 2010!

Thinking of You. . .

Sorry for the lack of posting, but my Christmas break has been super busy. There were six consecutive days of Christmasing and visiting with family and friends, much baking and even more snow, a very productive shopping trip (jeans that fit! one pair for $8!), some cleaning up and clearing out, lunch with a dear friend, and a mild but obnoxious head cold.

Amongst all of that, I managed to finish up my sketchbook for Art House's Sketchbook Library. My theme was "Thinking of You". I was a little unenthusiastic about this theme at first, but I got into and I'm pretty happy with the results. Some pages are stronger than others, but I guess that goes for every sketchbook. These are just a few shots of some of my favorite pages.

Hope you had a great holiday season, and wishing you a happy and safe new year! Thanks for reading!